2014 SOTU: The Next Day

The awareness creeps into me like a unwelcome relative inviting themselves over for dinner. My body tells me that sleep will find me again soon but the pounding in my head acts as a repellent for any sense of tranquility. The checklist of where I was and what I was doing before sleep conquered me last night is pulled out of the deep filing cabinet that is my memory and I begin to start a review while to any observer my body appears to be no better off then the sack of manure it feels like.

There was booze, holy f*** there was a lot of booze, god d*** how many bottles? I'll find out when I make it to the kitchen, since I can't imagine I was ever in a state where cleaning up after myself would have occurred to me. There was someone else in the room with me. A guy who seems so familiar yet I know I never met him. D*** this throbbing in my head, if I could just focus my thoughts for a few seconds and remember where that face is familiar from I know everything else would fall squarely into place. That face, and that voice...

State of the Union 2014, The Next Day...

A couple of alka-seltzer to help the stomach and a couple of aspirin to help the head give me the constitution of body to make it to the living room. The scene looks like scene out of a James Patterson novel. Scribbles of paper litter the floor and streaks of liquor splatter the walls, signs of bottles being thrown in rage trigger memories for the first time since leaving the warm comfort of the bed;

Why is he taking credit for his green energy initiatives and then admits it's natural gas fracking that is making us energy independent?
Did he just say that is congress makes a statement against Iran obtaining nuclear weapons, he will stand with Iran?
Why does he continue to brag about cutting the deficit in half when this deficit is stall larger then any one Obama didn't preside over since World War II?
Why does he continue to push for free trade with countries who have a fraction of the regulation we do?
Why would the congress applaud the line 'I will not wait on congress to take action!'?

My nose is assaulted by the stale scent of vomit that was caused from having to bear through over an hour of recycled ideas for improving the state of things being served up the night before. Even remembering them now makes my empty stomach turn in on itself;

Why haven't we closed these obviously unpopular tax loopholes you ran against in 2008 for companies that export jobs overseas yet?
How many more years will we still be 'winding down' operations in Afghanistan?
When he couldn't get his minimum wage raised to $9/hour last year, what makes him think that going for a number over 12% higher this year would work better?
Why do you finish up touting years of success for your 'Race to the Top' program, only to proceed with a call to do more, because we are still falling in education rankings?

The one parchment of paper that seems to have been spared from the mess is a listing of rules for a drinking game complete with chicken scratches noting a count based on the number of times choice words were used.

Middle-Class: 5 marks
Minimum Wage: 3 marks

That doesn't seem like much drinking, It's almost like the speech itself, and not the alcohol, was what made me so sick...

State of the Union: Prediction Follow Up

Let's take a look here and see how I did on my little wager on the State of the Union;

1. He will still refer to the economy as being in a state of recovery, despite the fact the recession ended almost 5 years ago.

"The cold, hard fact is that even in the midst of recovery, too many Americans are working more than ever just to get by – let alone get ahead. And too many still aren't working at all."

That was an easy one, to deny it would admit that he's fixed all the problems left by Bush. I mean come on, he's only had 5 years.

2. He will call for a raise in the minimum wage.... again. Referencing a living wage for a single parent household, even though a living wage for a single parent raising two kids is closer to $30/hour then the proposed $10.

"Tom Harkin and George Miller have a bill to fix that by lifting the minimum wage to $10.10. It's easy to remember -- ten-ten."

And yes, he made a reference to someone who gets paid $10.10 as not living in poverty.

3. He will propose new spending on something.

"And as we reform our defense budget, we have to keep faith with our men and women in uniform, and invest in the capabilities they need to succeed in future missions."

You don't need details on what kind of capabilities, if you oppose my initiatives, you are anti-military!

4. He will call for more availability of absentee voting, despite recent video of Democratic activists talking about the ease of using voter absentee ballots fraudulently.

"Conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats are working together to strengthen it; and the bipartisan commission I appointed last year has offered reforms so that no one has to wait more than a half hour to vote."

Arguably not a very direct reference, but his committee did stress early voting, a lot.

5. He won't mention anything about the disarming deal with Syria. (At least not from any accountable or actionable perspective)

"American diplomacy, backed by the threat of force, is why Syria’s chemical weapons are being eliminated, and we will continue to work with the international community to usher in the future the Syrian people deserve,"

It was a fleeting nod that defiantly does not meet the criteria of something tangible or any call to action or anything resembling an actual update on the situation considering Syria was supposed to begin disarming "Totally and immediately". Any honest review of this deal makes it obvious it's not going well. 

6. He will propose new spending on something else.

"And if Congress wants to help, you can concentrate funding on proven programs that connect more ready-to-work Americans with ready-to-be-filled jobs."

Ready-to-be-filled? Filled in with that shovel over there perhaps? <snark>

7. He will make some snide reference to the bickering and gridlock in Washington being partly to blame for the Affordable Care Act Obamacare Affordable Care Act roll out failures.

"But let’s not have another forty-something votes to repeal a law that’s already helping millions of Americans like Amanda. The first forty were plenty. We got it."

That got a pretty hearty laugh for a response.

8. He will brag about deficit reduction.

"Our deficits – cut by more than half.And for the first time in over a decade,"

Even a half sized Obama deficit is larger then any other President's deficit since World War II.

9. He will propose new spending on something, that will not add one dollar/dime/cent to the deficit.

"We’ve got a down payment to start connecting more than 15,000 schools and twenty million students over the next two years, without adding a dime to the deficit."

You may have me that this was proposed last year, but considering the extreme lack of any new initiatives in this State of the Union, I think you have to give me this one.

And Lastly;

10. He will say "The state of the union is getting stronger."

"Tonight, this chamber speaks with one voice to the people we represent: it is you, our citizens, who make the state of our union strong."

Ok, this one was a nice little trick. The President dodged answering the question of how the state of the Union actually is, and instead focused specifically on positive elements that hold the key to make this country strong. 

If I'm grading my own paper, I'd give myself a 9/10. To bad, I'm pretty sure the minimum donation on a tax form is $2 <snark snark>.

State of the Union Predictions

The 2014 State of the Union address is right around the corner. Last year, I watched with two flavors of margarita's in hand. It was a swig of Peach Margarita for 'Jobs', and Classic Margarita for 'Fair Share'. This year the buzzwords are going to be 'Minimum Wage' and 'Middle Class', still deciding on the drinks, Thinking a two fisted beer venture with  Black Lager and Belgium White or some combination that celebrates diversity in an horribly inappropriate manner. Wish me luck, if you want to do the complete State of the Union drinking game, check out the rules here.

But, what makes politics better then drinking? Drinking while Gambling! I've decided that for each one of my predictions that I get wrong below, I'm going to donate $1 on my tax forms where it asks if I want to donate any money to a political party. Of course I'm offended by this option on tax forms and don't actually plan on doing this, that's why I've made some pretty sure bets on what Obama will touch base on and what he won't. Check back in next week to see how I did. (Not too soon, I'll probably need some time to recover.)

1. He will still refer to the economy as being in a state of recovery, despite the fact the recession ended almost 5 years ago.

2. He will call for a raise in the minimum wage.... again. Referencing a living wage for a single parent household, even though a living wage for a single parent raising two kids is closer to $30/hour then the proposed $10.

3. He will propose new spending on something.

4. He will call for more availability of absentee voting, despite recent video of Democratic activists talking about the ease of using voter absentee ballots fraudulently.

5. He won't mention anything about the disarming deal with Syria. (At least not from any accountable or actionable perspective)

6. He will propose new spending on something else.

7. He will make some snide reference to the bickering and gridlock in Washington being partly to blame for the Affordable Care Act Obamacare Affordable Care Act roll out failures.

8. He will brag about deficit reduction.

9. He will propose new spending on something, that will not add one dollar/dime/cent to the deficit.

And Lastly;

10. He will say "The state of the union is getting stronger."