Marine Surpised in Iowa

After reading the story about Sgt. Ross Gunlach, I took some liberties in a re-write to make it into a surprise ending, see if you can guess what it is;

When Marine Sgt. Ross Gundlach served as a mine sweeper in Afghanistan, he formed a bond with his fellow soldier by the name of Casey, that he spent most of his days working beside in the hot desert sun, and that Ross credits with saving his life on several occasions.

“I promised her if we made it out of alive, I’d do whatever it took to find her,” Gundlach said.

On Friday, he made good on that vow with help from some sentimental state officials in Iowa who know how to pull off a surprise.

Since leaving active duty to take classes at the University of Wisconsin this summer, Gundlach, of Madison, Wis., had been seeking to reunite with Casey.

The 25-year-old learned Casey had finished her military service and had accepted a position at the Iowa State Fire Marshal’s Office, where she was employed to assist in the detection of explosives here in the homeland.

Not knowing of any way of establishing contact through personal channels, Gundlach wrote to State Fire Marshal's office, explaining the connection he felt with one of their employees. He even has a tattoo on his right forearm depicting Casey with angel wings and a halo.

“He’s been putting a case together for the last two months, sending me pictures … it just tugged on your heart,” Reynolds said.

Reynolds decided to arrange a surprise. First, he got in touch with the Iowa Elk’s Association, who has a history of assisting veterans who have returned home.

“We have a motto in our association that as long as there are veterans, the Elks will strive to help them,” Iowa Elks Association president Tom Maher said.

Then, Reynolds came up with a ruse to get Gundlach to Des Moines, telling Gundlach he needed to come to the state Capitol to plead his case for wanting to make contact with an employee of the state in front of a “bureaucratic oversight committee.”

When Gundlach arrived with his parents, Reynolds told them the meeting had been delayed and invited them to join an Armed Services Day celebration in the rotunda. There, hundreds of law enforcement officers, military personnel and civilians were seated, keeping the secret — until Casey joined them.

When Gundlach saw Casey, he put his head in his hands and cried.

“It was a total surprise,” he said. “I owe her.”

His father, Glen Gundlach, seemed just as surprised.

“It’s unbelievable … the state of Iowa, I love ‘em,” he said.

Gov. Terry Branstad made an appearance during Friday’s ceremony, thanking Casey for a “job well done.”

During the 150 missions they performed together, Gundlach said Casey never missed an explosive — she caught three before they could be detonated. He credits her for making it back home safely.

“I wouldn’t be here … any kids I ever had wouldn’t exist if Casey hadn’t been here,” he said.

Think you know how the story ends? Read the original article here, and find out!

How to Fix this 'Dam' Thing

More than 300 City of Cedar Rapids facilities were damaged during the June 2008 flood. The hydro-electric facility, part of the 5-in-1 Dam, sustained $13 million in damage alone. The City worked to secure funds for this project, but in 2010 the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) halted the process. They denied the claim because the hydro-electric facility was not operating at the time of the flooding disaster. It hadn't been for some years prior to the epic flood of '08.

The City appealed the issue. Last year, FEMA headquarters determined the facility is eligible for funding after the City took their case to Washington and showed that, much like Chandler in Joey's box, we had done some really good thinking with some serious consideration towards the possibility to maybe one day putting some money towards fixing up the place. City staff has been working on this project for almost four years (the FEMA funding project that is), providing documentation and submitting appeals. 

Then, after FEMA relented and the City was promised their money to repair this 'dam' thing, the City applied to transfer the funds to an alternative project, a new parking ramp in downtown Cedar Rapids. Let me translate, we didn't get the money because there was little evidence that we seriously wanted to fix the 5 in 1 dam, then after spending a lot of time and resources proving that in fact we were serious about repairing it and got a check stuffed into the mail to do just that, we pull the old bait and switch and use the funds towards a parking ramp instead. Somehow, Iowa Homeland Security and Emergency Management Division and FEMA supported this course of action. 

However, on the 10th of May, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s Office of Inspector General issued a Management Action Report recommending a reversal of FEMA’s decision and denial of funding for the project. The City, surprisingly, is appalled.

“The City of Cedar Rapids is disappointed that the Office of Inspector General has objected to FEMA’s decision to fund the facility,” said Joe O’Hern, Executive Administrator for Development Services for the City of Cedar Rapids. “We have been working with Iowa Homeland Security and Emergency Management Division and FEMA for years to secure the funding we need.”

An analogy of a kid begging their parents for a new computer to help them with their school work, the parents finally relenting and handing them their credit card, then the kid returning home with a PlayStation 3 comes to mind.

FEMA has the opportunity to respond to the Office of Inspector General in the coming months. “While the OIG’s objection to the hydro-electric facility project is disappointing, other projects are moving along successfully,” said O’Hern. “For example, FEMA has forgiven a $5 million disaster recovery loan that the City received shortly after the disaster.”

The City of Cedar Rapids has done a lot of good in the years following the floods of '08, but this appears to be as good of an example as any of a local government is just trying to grab as much funding as it can from higher levels of government with little regard for the spirit of why those funds are available in the first place. Sure, Cedar Rapids was hurt by the floods of '08, we've raised local taxes, collected large, but ultimately insufficient amounts of insurance claims, and tapped into tens of millions of dollars in FEMA funds. At some point the thought has to cross peoples mind; Are we pulling on the proverbial teet a little too hard?

White House Scandals Explained!

In just one week, President Barack Obama’s political machine has switched from endless campaign to survival mode. And for the first time in Obama’s presidency, the damage to his regime may be permanent. How is this hapless blogger to process this head spinning plethora of scandals  The only way he can, by making one big joke out of the whole thing.

What else is there to do? We can no longer take anything that Jay Carney says seriously, whether it's sarin gas in Syria or tea-baggers getting steeped in an audit nightmare, this administration has zero transparency zero credibility, and zero accountability

To this point, I lend my vast imagination to the administration. I have concocted the perfect explanation that cover the White House's hind quarters from any of the blame that is inevitably heading his way...

"We have taken every one of these actions in concourse to prevent the outbreak of the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE." -Barrack Obama 5/15/2013

THINK ABOUT IT! Everything fits! Lets go down the "facts":

Operation Fast a Furious - The scandal in which the Department of Justice (DOJ) is funneling weapons to Mexico and then 'accidentally' loosing track of them. Of course it has to look unintentional, any attempt to expose the impending zombie apocalypse would be met with a huge public panic. It's no coincidence that the Council on Hemispheric Affairs was investigating the possibility of a zombie outbreak just a couple years ago. If we are to protect America from zombies that originate in Central America, we will need to have a well armed Mexico between us.

Solyndra - It was never meant to be a profitable capital venture, it was meant to design and develop portable solar generators to assist the last vestiges of mankind in a time when society collapses. Were are these generators then, you ask? Well, we can't come out and say, because then the well armed Mexicans would get dibs. Also, Solyndra spelled backwards is Ardnylos! (There is no point to this, but Ardnylos sounds like a secretive government project type word, doesn't it?)

TEA Party targeting by the IRS - If Secretary Carney came out and said we had secret intelligence supporting a theory that there is a group funneling money that is actually trying to bring about the zombie apocalypse, that could explain this scandal.He would continue by revealing that intelligence points to a group called the "Terminal Ethological Apocalypse" or T.E.A. being involved, this provoked a thorough examination of possible revenue sources by the IRS, it was an honest mistake that other 501c4's that had TEA in their name were targeted as well.

Benghazi - This is where everything starts to go awry in this vast cover-up, I mean protective action on behalf of the American public, because it is the first documented case of a full blown Zombie attack, when the White House called the YouTube video outrageous  they thought that it was a video of actual zombies being leaked out and they where still trying to avoid a public panic. Their had was forced to run with the lame narrative they had concocted when they realized that the evidence of real life zombies hadn't hit the mainstream, but I found the original video here.

AP Phone Records being seized secretly by the DOJ - Ummmm... see, this was because.... ummmm.... the press was.... ummm... when the AP is talking to people, you see... ummmm.... oh screw it, this administration IS the zombie apocalypse. They act without rational thought, upon their most primitive of political desires, to destroy their opponents at whatever cost. They attack their enemies vicariously, lie and cover up their involvement while the blood drips from their lips. The best case scenario is that we have an executive branch that, much like a brain in a zombie, has no idea what is going on in the government body they sit atop of. They say they read notes from the CIA that turn out to be wrong, that they say they have no control over what the DOJ does in it's investigations, unaware of practices in the IRS, that if it's not Bush's fault, it's Rush's fault.

I'm sick of it. Most people can't stand working under a boss that lies, cheats, and throws people under the bus every time something goes wrong, which seems to be frequent with 'leaders' that use these tactics. But this isn't just some job that you can quit, this is our country. We are living under this incompetency.

Perhaps we'd be better off if there really was a zombie apocalypse.