Election Results - Stage 4: Depression

Time to bust out the Hagen-Daiz and other all American foods that people gorge on to drown their sorrows.

STAGE 4: DEPRESSION

"If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates." -Jay Leno

The most recognizable of all the grief stricken. You mock those in denial, you avoid those in anger, you judge those who try and bargain there way out of a situation, but most people have a spot in their hearts for their fellow men and woman who are truly depressed.

It's best to just let them be. If you confront them, the reaction will go something like, "What are you people doing here? Shouldn't you be out celebrating, because... evidently... you don't listen to anything I say!". If you must confront one, perhaps to ask for a cup a sugar from your neighbor who has a fading Romney/Ryan sign in their yard, don't back them into a corner. Offer them a way out. Perhaps a low lying window out the side of the house. Unless you want to see some waterfalls, it's best to just let them be.

Should you come across one of these voters that bleed 'red state' red and they are already sobbing, try offering them one of the flyers you got in the mail to help them wipe their tears, or one of the millions of fake ballots cast for Obama to blow their nose. Lend a sympathetic ear as they dribble on about how Obama-Care will destroy us all, or how the Deficit will crush our economy, simply nod and smile, because, deep down you all know it's true! Sorry, sorry, I need a minute...

While I wallow back and forth within the early stages of my personal grief, feel free to wallow with me. If you are one of the lucky ones that have finished shaking your head in disbelief, shaking your fist in anger, writing your petitions to get out of the whole deal, and shedding your tears, feel free to move on to the final stage; Acceptance.

Stage 1: Denial
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining