Election Results - Stage 1: Denial

Grief is a funny thing. People can respond to it in funny ways. Confusion, sadness, and outbursts of emotion that make people want to check you for tourettes syndrome  After listening to the rounds of talk radio in the wake of the election, I've decided to put together a help guide over the coming days to assist with the grief that many are still feeling from the results of the presidential election.

STAGE 1: DENIAL

"... No, I don't..." - Karl Rove when asked if he thinks Ohio has been settled shortly after declared won by Obama on Fox News.

As the results came rolling in, and the writing appeared obvious on the wall. There where some that insisted that it was not over, Karl Rove on Fox News questioned the declaration that Ohio would go Blue when 25% of the vote was still outstanding. Of course, Ohio would go Blue by a little over 100,000 votes. relatively close by most measures, but not close enough to justify holding on to some hope that a mistake had occurred. Especially when results in Virginia, Florida, and one other state would have to swing to make up for it. Last reports from Fox News have Karl Rove going from house to house in all 11 swings states doing a door to door recount to verify the results, currently he reports that Obama has actually grown his lead by 6,000,000 votes, but only because citizens learned that he insisted on receiving a high five from anyone claiming that they voted for Romney.

I'll admit it, I even made a G+ post about how quickly Michigan had been declared for Obama, knowing that it was tagged as a potential upset state, it was called after about 10% by most networks, and at one point, I think with roughly 25% reporting, Romney actually had a slight lead in Michigan. I took out my anger and frustration banging my head against the wall once for each of the 2,561,911 votes he got in Michigan. The new entry way this created from the living room to the bathroom in our house was not well received by the misses. Especially since she was showering at the time that vote number 1,894,923 was counted, and I blasted through the last bit of drywall and tile that created a 'how do you do' moment with my lovely wife that had previously only been hinted at in the pages of Dear Penthouse. My ending did not match the erotic ending of the forum.

But here is the truth, not only is it true that Obama won the election, it turns out that all the statisticians at all the major news networks got it right on the first try. Sure, many of us still remember the 2000 election and the constant changing of Florida with trepidation, but that was a learning experience for the news machine in general. We on the short end of this election need to accept this reality and start plotting the demise of our enemies as we move on to the next phase of grief; ANGER.