Election Results - Stage 5: Acceptance

The confetti has fallen, and the signs are coming down, in the back of a smoke free juice bar, the nightly network news with Al Sharpton begins playing. Outside, next to the row of 180 mpg smart cars, is a gay man on his knees asking his partner for the past three years you spend the rest of his life with him. As we pan out, we hear the gentle whirr whirr of the windmills attached to the roofs of the surrounding buildings. This is just one scene of the nightmare that awaits us now that Obama has won a second term.

Stage 5: Acceptance

"Tonight, more than 200 years after a former colony won the right to determine its own destiny, the task of perfecting our union moves forward." -Barrack Obama

After the election of 2008, when my candidate eked out a narrow victory over the Constitution Party for a solid 4th place finish, I had a moment where I was filled with hope. A little piece of the same hope that Obama had been selling during his campaign. He had spoken of bettering our education system, and reducing the cost of Healthcare and College. All the while vowing to cut the deficit in half and spur a new green revolution in America that would lead the way to energy independence. The election seemed to had given him the political capital needed, along with a heavily democratic congress, to achieve some of these goals.

Putting aside certain shortcomings from the first term, let's look at what the positive aspects of a second term for Obama could be.

1. We now have an openly Pro-Gay President. Hot Lesbians are sure to follow.
2. We will finally win the war in Afghanistan, regardless of the outcome.
3. We get to continue to hear about the feeling Chris Mathews has in his pants.
4. Men's health insurance rates will be raised up to the level of woman's health insurance rates, making things equal.
5. The infamous lock box discussion on what to do with the Social Security surplus will be resolved, since it will be is gone.
6. We will finally be told how to save money in our health care system, thanks to IPAB.

Thus concludes the cycle of grief for the election 2012 cycle. See you all right back here in 2016.

Stage 1: Denial
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4: Depression