T'was a Leftist Christmas

T’was the night before the 25th, and no celebration would occur,
No lights or nativities, less we offend our neighbor.
Into the chimney went our Duck Dynasty gear,
In hopes that Phil Robertson would soon be off the air.

The children were shivering huddled together like a flock,
While a heating oil subsidy lay stuck in congressional deadlock.
And me in my Snuggie, and my wife in her blouse,
We counted our blessings, that a Democrat was in the White House.

When out in the communal square, there arose such a clatter.

We immediately called the authorities, I entrusted them to see what was the matter.

Away from the window, I hid ‘til it was done.

For I had no form of protection, last week I handed over my gun.

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Away! Before the IRS audit’s us all!"

PETA would through a tantrum, as I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
I drew in a breath, If he were to fall how would he fare?
But down the chimney came St Nic, he must have Cadillac healthcare.

He was chubby from drinking Coke, Mayor Bloomberg would throw a fit.
And I laughed when I saw him, perhaps I’m prejudice a bit.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
I knew this wasn’t another Benghazi, I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but I watch Fox News,

It was what he didn’t say, those were dog whistles he’d use,

Then he lay his finger on the lips of his face,
The universal signal that the NSA had bugged the place!

He sprang to his sleigh, and left me with the thought,
Perhaps it’s not from Santa, I should fear being caught,
Then I heard him exclaim, much to the left’s ire,
"Merry Christmas to all, and the President’s a liar!”

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!