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Thursday, January 30, 2014

2014 SOTU: The Next Day

The awareness creeps into me like a unwelcome relative inviting themselves over for dinner. My body tells me that sleep will find me again soon but the pounding in my head acts as a repellent for any sense of tranquility. The checklist of where I was and what I was doing before sleep conquered me last night is pulled out of the deep filing cabinet that is my memory and I begin to start a review while to any observer my body appears to be no better off then the sack of manure it feels like.

There was booze, holy f*** there was a lot of booze, god d*** how many bottles? I'll find out when I make it to the kitchen, since I can't imagine I was ever in a state where cleaning up after myself would have occurred to me. There was someone else in the room with me. A guy who seems so familiar yet I know I never met him. D*** this throbbing in my head, if I could just focus my thoughts for a few seconds and remember where that face is familiar from I know everything else would fall squarely into place. That face, and that voice...

State of the Union 2014, The Next Day...

A couple of alka-seltzer to help the stomach and a couple of aspirin to help the head give me the constitution of body to make it to the living room. The scene looks like scene out of a James Patterson novel. Scribbles of paper litter the floor and streaks of liquor splatter the walls, signs of bottles being thrown in rage trigger memories for the first time since leaving the warm comfort of the bed;

Why is he taking credit for his green energy initiatives and then admits it's natural gas fracking that is making us energy independent?
Did he just say that is congress makes a statement against Iran obtaining nuclear weapons, he will stand with Iran?
Why does he continue to brag about cutting the deficit in half when this deficit is stall larger then any one Obama didn't preside over since World War II?
Why does he continue to push for free trade with countries who have a fraction of the regulation we do?
Why would the congress applaud the line 'I will not wait on congress to take action!'?

My nose is assaulted by the stale scent of vomit that was caused from having to bear through over an hour of recycled ideas for improving the state of things being served up the night before. Even remembering them now makes my empty stomach turn in on itself;

Why haven't we closed these obviously unpopular tax loopholes you ran against in 2008 for companies that export jobs overseas yet?
How many more years will we still be 'winding down' operations in Afghanistan?
When he couldn't get his minimum wage raised to $9/hour last year, what makes him think that going for a number over 12% higher this year would work better?
Why do you finish up touting years of success for your 'Race to the Top' program, only to proceed with a call to do more, because we are still falling in education rankings?

The one parchment of paper that seems to have been spared from the mess is a listing of rules for a drinking game complete with chicken scratches noting a count based on the number of times choice words were used.

Middle-Class: 5 marks
Minimum Wage: 3 marks

That doesn't seem like much drinking, It's almost like the speech itself, and not the alcohol, was what made me so sick...


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