Road Rage Diaries

The following internal monologue was observed circa 2012;

Yeah, I see you there...

If your crappy Silverado stays up the arse of my Santa Fe any longer, I'll expect a bill for colorectal services  in my mailbox. Yes, the light for the cross traffic is yellow, which is practically red, which means our light is practically green, which means I can practically go. I can tell this is all very upsetting to you because your face is taking up half of my rear view mirror and you still seem to be inching closer.

Oh nice, you need to take a left turn at the next intersection as well. At least that's what I'm assuming since you followed me into the turn only lane while never leaving more then 5 feet between our respective vehicles. You know they put turn signals on these things for a reason, not saying that people can't "figure it out", but it's just common courtesy. Ah, I see, NOW you turn on your signal, you must have needed the last 10 seconds of being at a complete stop in a turn lane to really absorb your surroundings.

The speed limit here is still 55, they didn't change the signs the instant we passed them, at least I don't think they did. You know the National Highway Traffic Safety Association recommends at least a 2 second count between vehicles, I'd say right now you are sitting right around 'Zero Mississippi'.

Finally, I need to make a turn that you don't, at least it appears that way since you are once again not using any turn signals, but the instant I dropped to 54 mph you run up on the shoulder of the road to get around me. I have a feeling you were well on your way to your destination, or to the ditch. Yes, your beat up old Chevy makes that cute little revving noise letting all the residents in a 3 mile radius know how much of a hurry you are in.


---DRIVE SAFE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYONE!!---