Obama Offers Concessions for Debt Limit

House Republicans have passed a Debt Ceiling agreement that asks for only one item, de-fund the American Care Act, frequently referred to as Obamacare. In response to this, Obama has called House Republicans out for doing nothing but attacking him, and not focusing on helping the working class and the economy. However, little do people know that there was a top secret memo sent to the GOP leadership. Items that Obama is willing to compromise on to get the Debt Limit raised and to avoid a government shut down. In this memo, the following items where proposed for finding some middle ground that would allow Obamacare to remain funded, and avoid a crippling shutdown.

In exchange for raising the Federal Debt Limit, the following items are proposed for your consideration;

• Adding 'Spray on Tan' coverage to Obamacare for any current Speakers of the House.
• Republicans will have the ability to place one additional word into next years state of the Union to be unknown to the President until he reads it off the teleprompter.
• Joe Biden can not laugh during another Presidential Debate, ever.
• Hillary Clinton will be rehired as Secretary of State so that she can be fired from the position.
• Paul Ryan will be allowed to be relevant again
• A mulligan will be called on the entire career of Marco Rubio
• An 18 hour TV special will be aired, hosted by Nancy Pelosi, special were she will go through all the contents of Obamacare called "Now that we've passed it, let's find out what's in it"
• Before the 2016 Presidential filing date, The White House will share the name of a very good birth certificate forger with Ted Cruz.
  
• Obamacare will be expanded to include chin enhancement surgery for Senate minority leaders.
• On alternating Tuesdays, House Republicans will have access to John Kerry's yacht, so long as they don't dock it in Massachusetts. 
• The first Presidential Debate of 2016 will be moderated by Ron Paul, the second by Ryan Seacrest.
• Senators McCain and Graham will be required to run in the Democratic primaries for their next election.
• Michelle Obama will publicly announce that this deal makes her proud to be an American for the 2nd time in her adult life.
• President Obama will offer gaff fodder to Republicans in the form of stating that America has no intention of putting pants on the ground in Syria.

And the biggest concession of them all;

• Seven states will be allowed to secede from the U.S., bringing the nation, according to Obama, back to 50 states in total.

The ball is now in Republicans court. Only time will tell if a compromise will be reached before something truly tragic, like the status quo, will result of this deadlock.