Toilet Humor

I found myself on the toilet this afternoon as one does. The kind of visit to the porcelain princess that gives you a few minutes to ponder the events of the day that led you to this moment. I woke up, ate my fiber bar and apple breakfast, went to work, tried that new Mongolian Grill place for lunch.

Ah, that must be it, I give my body plenty of ammunition and then presented it with a foreign invader. My gastrointestinal system is experiencing what would happen if the state of Texas was given full authority over the Canadian border.

What is the physiological response to eating a new type of food? How can it work through all the steps so much quicker then a typical meal? The thoughts took me back to junior high biology class, please note the exceptional amount of time that I still had to ponder such things, and that is when it occurred to me, possibly one of the funniest toilet humor jokes to ever cross my mind.

There are a few new ingredients that are eaten in a dish that had never been tried before by little Chris. As the food goes between the lips and over the gums, these ingredients happen upon the stomach. The stomach is confused as it looks at these new ingredients. It gives them a shake like a child would a Christmas present to ascertain it's contents, much to the chagrin of little Chris who has to deal with the stomach grumblings as he is plugging away at his work desk. With no success, the stomach passes the mystery items over to the small intestine.

The small intestine is just as dumbfounded as the stomach was. He shoots a quick text, or whatever the internal workings of the human body uses for their communications network, over to his friends, the liver, the pancreas, and many other buddies from back in the day. Many theories are formed, "Is it ginger? Is it soy? Is it lobster tail? It appears to have parts of these and many more, but surely these parts are not of the same meal?" After mulling it over for some time, the small intestine gives up and hands the mystery meal over to it's larger, dimwitted but well intentioned brother, the large intestine.

"Hodor, Hodor Hodor", or some likened line the large intestine recites as he smashes the mystery food against itself. Again, causing a disruption to an otherwise typical workday for the host body. After several failed attempts to accomplish anything, the large intestine simply drops it and moves on to it's next seemingly mundane task.

Lastly, the colon is handed over the mystery item. It makes no attempt at studying, analyzing, or any form of experimentation to determine what it originally was when it began it's quest through Chris' body, it simply grabs it's shovel and mutters to itself "Why does everyone keep giving me all their crap...."

Now, aren't you glad you read this far?